


Mission: IPAD

by Kingscunt



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Ficlet, Fluff, M/M, Merlin is a Little Shit, Writing Prompt, for once, im bad at tagging, no angst???, sort of, what dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 11:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10876194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingscunt/pseuds/Kingscunt
Summary: After a steamy night, Harry and Eggsy notice their work iPads are gone.The ones they used to film their sex tape.(written from a prompt meme off tumblr!)





	Mission: IPAD

**Author's Note:**

> So this was written from a prompt off tumblr. I liked it, so I thought I'd post it on here!
> 
> I'm still very much a beginner as you can probably tell, but if you have any prompts you could send me, it'd be great as I'm trying to practice my skills!

“Fuck, the iPads in Merlins office. He’ll definitely see it, and then we’re fucked.” Eggsy sighed, peering through the doorway. 

The night before was one of the steamiest nights Harry and Eggsy had had in a while, and, well, one thing led to another, and they decided to make a sex tape with one of the work iPads. As hot as it was, neither of them liked the idea of Merlin finding it, and showing it to the whole HQ. 

“I told you, it was a bad idea using a work issued tablet. You could of gone and grabbed my personal one from downstairs, but you had to be lazy.” Harry said. He burrowed his face in his hands. “30 years of service and now I’ll be the laughing stock of the agency.”

Eggsy took another look through the doorway. Merlin was sitting at his desk, tapping away at his computer, probably filling out some boring paperwork bollocks. Sitting behind him on the desk were the stacked up iPads, waiting for the update.

“I think I have an idea to get that iPad back, Haz.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I despise that name. How on earth do you think we’ll grab the iPad? You can’t sneak past Merlin, that man’s like a hawk.”

“Ah, but we don’t need to sneak past him. Listen, yea’, you walk in, and start a conversation with Merlin about some bullshit, I dunno, maybe compliment his bald head or somfin'-"

“Don’t be ridiculous Eggsy, I’ll be sat there for hours if I go in there.”

“Na, just listen! Once you’ve distracted him I’ll walk in while he’s got all his attention on ya’, look through the iPads and quickly delete it. Then once I’ve ran out, I’ll ring ya’ and make up some excuse that I need you to come see me or somfin’.” Eggsy said, with the familiar shine in his eyes. Dear god, he was serious.

“Have you lost your mind?” Harry asked. He rolled his eyes, and put his hands up in submission. “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever come up with. Saying that… Of course I’m in.”

Eggsy gave him a tap on the arse. “I knew you’d like it. I’m a genius.” 

Harry made his way in, dreading the boring conversation he was about to put himself through. “Working hard, I presume?” He asked sarcastically, pulling the chair out so he could sit next to his co-worker. 

“If you count minesweeper as working hard, then yes, very.” Merlin smirked. He picked up a stack of paperwork, and slumped it in front of Harry. “Maybe you can work as hard as me, eh?”

“You’re joking.”

“Certainly not.”

As Harry and Merlin started arguing about who was going to do the paperwork for the week, Eggsy slipped in, making sure not to make a sound. Both Harry and Merlin had their backs turned, and the slow rise in the tone of their voices made it easier for Eggsy to stay undetected. 

He picked up each iPad, one by one, checking the serial number of each iPad to see if it was the one they’d used. He had no idea how he remembered the code, but somehow he had.  
After picking up the last one, he’d found it. It took everything in him not to let out a huge sigh of relief. He quickly typed in the passcode and deleted the video. Now that was done, he turned around to walk out of the room. 

He turned a little too enthusiastically.

His shoe let’s out a massive squeak, making Merlin turn around. Harry facepalmed, visibly annoyed with his partner.

“Eggsy. Good to see you. What are you doing in my office?” Merlin asked suspiciously.

“Uh, just came in t'say hello. Heard you had a lot of paperwork y'need help with.” He scanned Merlins face, to see if he’d bought the blatant lie that had just slipped from his mouth. 

“I thought that paperwork was ‘the bane of your life’, and you’d rather be 'eaten alive by Mr. Pickles’ than complete any. Or was I dreaming when you said that?"

“Change of heart, guv.” 

Merlin smiled, and turned back around to his computer. “Well, Eggsy,” he said, “I’ve got some for you to do, if you wish.” Eggsy turned to Harry, and gave him a thumbs up to sign that the deed was done. Harry smiled, and turned around to have a look at the paperwork he’d been assigned. 

“Is there any reason you were looking through the iPads, lad?” Merlin asked, looking through the files of his computer. 

“N-nah. Just wanted to make sure I’d handed mine in, don’t need ya chewing my head off.”

“Excellent. Ah, here it is. The paperwork you’ll be doing.” Merlin replied. He hovered over a file, and clicked. 

Oh. 

Shit.

On the massive screen was the video the pair had taped. Eggsy laying there, butt naked, while Harry stood over him, doing a strip tease. The occasional bark of JB could be heard in the background. Harry went bright red, and turned around to look at Eggsy, who’s jaw was so wide open it could of touched the floor.

“Now gentlemen, is this why you came in here to annoy me? You may have deleted the file just now, Eggsy,” Merlin said, “But I suppose you two didn’t know that any video, any picture, any file, taken using those iPads, are uploaded onto my cloud. Looks like you guys were having fun last night. I thought you looked glowing today, Harry.”

They could just about of died then.


End file.
